Why Isn't Divorce Illegal?

Just because the Bible says something is wrong, does that mean it should be against the law?

It's a tough question, especially for people of faith, and it's one that I'm admittedly working through myself.  When you start layering political systems on top of religious beliefs (or vice versa), things tend to get sticky in a hurry.

Any eighth-grader understands that the Bill of Rights guarantees all Americans, regardless of religion or belief, the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  That's why murder and slavery are illegal (amongst other things), and why I would contend that abortion should be banned too.  Regardless of what the Bible says, these actions are prohibited by law because they take away the very freedoms provided for in the founding of our great nation.

Fair enough.

But what about the issues that don't infringe on another's life, liberty, or pursuit of happiness that are still Biblical no-nos.  Things like adultery and envy and greed.  What are our leaders to do about them?  Should they do anything?  Does flying the flag of freedom really encompass governing personal value systems?

It's interesting to me that the vast majority of conservative Christians are dead set against legalizing gay marriage, and yet no one seems to have even the slightest interest in banning divorce.  Why is that?  There seems to be a double-standard.  And, with nearly 50% of Christian marriages ending in divorce (including my first), it's no surprise why.

If the objection is a matter of faith, then both acts are against God's teachings.  If the objection is a matter of social impact (family health, children's well-being, etc.), then why aren't we legislatively battling for the millions of families that are decimated every year because of divorce?

I am, of course, not making the case that divorce should be illegal.  Rather, I'm trying to figure out it I can make the case for gay marriage to be illegal.  Honestly, I'm not sure that I can.  Spiritually, I'm against both, but, politically, I'm not sure how we ban one without the other.

Could it be that many Christians are simply frustrated that we can't get more people to see things our way, so we try to dictate their compliance?  If so, we're forgetting something:  Laws do not change hearts.  Jesus changes hearts.  And, as much as we might want to govern our country into following Christ's lead, it will never work.  And, frankly, I'm not sure it should work.

God has given us the freedom to follow (or not follow) the boundaries that He outlined in the Bible.  And, as difficult as it may be, I think it's only fair that, as Christians, we allow others that same freedom.  You and I were put on this planet to represent Christ and point the way to Him...not politically chicken-wing people to the foot of the cross.

If we honestly have a heart for transforming families, there are two options: showing them justice and showing them Jesus. To me, there's no question as to which one is more effective.

Knowing the Unknowable

About a year ago, I reconnected with an old friend on Facebook.  He's an agnostic, and (since I am a Christian) our conversations have challenged me to think long and hard about my own faith.  This particular guy is very well-read and very well-researched, so (to him) being an agnostic is much more than just a "default" setting...it's an honest, thought-out belief system.

Over the weekend, he sent me a message which outlined, amongst other things, what he plans to tell his young son about God.  He put it this way:

"I'm not going to say "there is no God," because although there is no evidence of a god, that is unknowable. But I'm not going to tell him there is a god, because that is also unknowable."

While I genuinely respect my friend's intentions to speak only "knowable" truth into his son's life, his statement is, by it's very nature, flawed.  Either there is a God or there isn't.  One is right and the other is wrong - regardless of which is which.  But, rather than take a step of faith in one direction or the other, he (and millions of other agnostics) choose to sit on the fence instead...making a decision, even in their non-decision.

Personally, I can't imagine what my life would be like without faith.  I can't imagine where I would be or what I would be doing if I was never willing to make the leap between the "known" and the "unknown."

I didn't know that Heather wanted to marry me when I asked her.  I didn't know that I would be successful in radio after dropping out of architecture school.  I didn't know that I could handle the responsibility of being a father or of owning a home.  Each decision required a combination of evidence and belief.  A little bit of head and a little bit of heart.  If I had waited to commit to these things until I knew their outcome beyond a shadow of a doubt, without any chance whatsoever of being wrong, I would be a sad, lonely man.

It seems as though a person without any faith is a person with a lot of fear.  Mainly, the fear of being wrong. 

If everything in life could be scientifically proven, then humans would be robots.  Everybody would believe the exact same thing and act the exact same way, because there would be no other reasonable options.  Undeniable proof would dictate as much.  But life isn't that way.  In order to live, we have to leap.  We have to risk.  We have to trust.

Do you not buy a Mercedes because there isn't absolute proof that it won't drop it's transmission three days after the warranty expires?  Do you not get on an airplane because there isn't absolute proof that it won't crash?  Do you not send your child to school because there isn't absolute proof that he or she won't get made fun of?  Or, do you take what is knowable and use that information to make an informed decision anyway.

Christianity requires "faith", there's no doubt about it.  Atheism does too.  But deciding not to decide between the two is just deciding to be wrong...regardless of what the truth actually is.

Picking Up Starfish in Haiti

I love the story of the grandfather and grandson who were walking along the beach one day.  As far as their eyes could see, starfish lined the sand - having been washed up and abandoned by the tide.  Knowing that these starfish would die if left out of the water for too long, the little boy began picking them up one at a time and throwing the creatures back into the ocean.  Splash.  Splash.  Splash.

The grandfather said, "You know you'll never be able to save all of them, right?"  To which the boy replied, "I know.  But I can save this one."  Splash.

It was almost exactly seven months ago that my good friend (and co-host) Pam returned from a week in Haiti.  Less than a month after the devastating earthquake, Pam witnessed first-hand the literally millions of people without shelter, without water, and without family members.  One of the first things she said to me when she got back was, "I don't know what I'm going to do, but I know I'm going to do something."

And, tomorrow, something begins.

On Friday, Pam is leading a team of thirteen people to Port-au-Prince, Haiti.  Stuffed into their luggage will be one hundred water filtration systems, two hundred kites and ten thousand dollars.  Over ten days, the group will teach people how to get safe water, play with kids at an orphanage, and help build a house.  Will they save a country?  No.  Probably not.  But will they save a life?  Yes.  Hundreds of them.

You know, I think the only thing worse than not helping the masses is using the masses as an excuse to not help anyone.  Maybe we can't change our entire school system, but we can mentor one kid in it.  Maybe we can't beautify an entire city, but we can pick up trash at a nearby park.  Maybe we can't provide clean drinking water for an entire nation, but we can provide safe alternatives for a family or two.

Pam is...and you can too.  In fact, just twenty dollars will provide one person with clean water for twenty years!  I'd even encourage you to give what you can to Pam's ministry called XXI Stones and help them reach out to the people of Haiti in the coming weeks, months, and years.

Whether it's in Haiti or in your hometown, you and I have a part to play.  And while it may feel like a small part, it's a part nonetheless.  Remember, saving millions of starfish starts with picking up the one right in front of you.

You Can't Legislate Common Sense

Just because something is legal doesn't mean it's wise.

For example, it's legal to ride a motorcycle in the state of Illinois without wearing a helmet.  It's legal to cheat on your spouse.  It's legal to let your fourteen year old daughter sail around the world by herself.  It's legal to build a mosque (or "Islamic Center") at Ground Zero in New York.  None of them is exactly smart, sure, but every one of them is perfectly acceptable in the eyes of the law.

A gap frequently exists between the rules and what is considered "right", and (no matter how ridiculous it may seem) there are always people willing to completely ignore logic and instead tiptoe along the lines of legality.  As much as we may try to legislate common sense, it's impossible, because there's always someone stupider than the system. (Does it really have to be against the law to go over Niagara Falls in barrel?)

I've noticed that there seems to be several commonalities amongst people who bypass "smart" and instead chose "legal."  I call them Justification Gymnasts, as they carefully try to find the (usually unattainable) balance between their legal obligation and their moral compass.  (And, let's face it, we've all been Justification Gymnasts at one time or another.)

1.  Justification Gymnasts have their priorities out of order.  Riding without a helmet puts style over safety.  Having an affair puts pleasure in front of persistence.  Sending your kid around the world in a boat puts recognition ahead of reason.  Building an Islamic mosque steps away from Ground Zero puts selfishness over sensitivity.

2.  Justification Gymnasts don't realize they've lost their balance until it's too late.  Many motorcyclists don't get a second chance after their first helmet-less crash.  Many marriages don't recover after a sacred trust has been broken.  Many parents lose their kids forever (literally or figuratively) when the proper boundaries aren't in place.  And, at least in this one case, a rogue Imam may permanently damage any possible relationship between peaceful Muslims and the rest of the American people by going through with his plans.

In the end, no matter how much we try, you and I can't determine what these "gymnasts" choose to do.  Apart from the law of the land, we can't control the actions of others.  But we can control our responses to those actions.  Matthew 7:12 says, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."  Notice it's not, "Do unto others as they have done unto you."  Bummer.

I have no doubt that the Ground Zero mosque will be built, despite the overwhelming rejection of the idea by the American people.  And, regardless, our sensibilities will certainly be offended again soon by a different person or organization that wants to legally push their agenda regardless of how sensible it is.  It happens all the time.

So, how will you and I react when these types of things come up?"  Is it legal for us to call these people names?  Is it legal for us to write scathing blogs or articles about them?  It is legal for us to make life as difficult as possible for them?  Yes.  Yes.  Yes.

But, the question really is, are these kinds of reactions wise?  As if Matthew 7 weren't enough of an answer, Proverbs 9:12 says it this way: "If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer."

3 Reasons to Burn the Koran

I've been thinking a lot about why any church would want to burn copies of the Koran, like the Dove World Outreach Center is planning to do on Saturday in Florida.  Personally, I've been able to come up with three reasons:

1.  They want to make a difference.  Some churches effect change in their community by hosting Vacation Bible School, by handing out free bottled water on a hot day, or by helping single moms repair their minivans.  But those things don't generally get you on CNN or Fox.  You've got to really think outside the box to get noticed by the big boys and really impact lives.

2.  They want to take a stand.  Some congregations choose to speak out against highly controversial (and yet Biblical) issues like abortion and non-traditional marriage and public prayer.  But, about half of people disagree with what God has to say about those things - and that's no fun.  It's far better to publicly show your hatred for terrorism.  Way more people are going to resonate with the idea that randomly blowing up things is wrong.

3.  They want to share their beliefs.  Some Christians take a friend out to lunch or invite a neighbor to a play.  Some bring dinner to the family who moved in down the street or visit a co-worker in the hospital.  But those things just reach one or two people at a time.  Why not do something that will show the entire world what Christianity is all about, instead of just a few?

Well, regardless of those three "pseudo-stellar" reasons for burning the Koran, I can also think of one pretty good reason for the Dove World Outreach Center to step away from their lighters on Saturday: the words of Jesus.  In Matthew 5:44 Jesus says, "But I tell you: love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you."

The Bible tells us that love will always win out.  And, thankfully, no matter how many copies of the Koran are burned on Saturday, that truth will never change.