Push or Pull?

When dealing with people, whether it be a spouse, child, employee or customer, each of us has one of two options:

1.  We can pull them close
2.  We can push them away

I think most of us would say that we do more pulling than pushing.  We do more uniting than dividing.  More team-building than wedge-driving.  But, in reality, I'm not so sure that's true.

Ultimately, the difference lies in where we're putting the pressure.

Pushing involves putting pressure on the other person.  It's attempting to make our point without considering their situation.  It's trying to appeal to someone in a way that we feel is convincing, rather than in a way that actually motivates them.  Pulling, however, puts the pressure on us.  It requires an understanding of what makes the other person tick.  It requires knowing their love language.  It requires seeing the world through their point of view, rather than our own.

For example:  a couch-potato husband gets an earful every day after work from a nagging wife about fixing the garbage disposal.  She thinks that her prodding is pulling him closer and closer to getting the job done, when (in reality) it's pushing him further and further into the sofa.  Or a nit-picky boss thinks he's pulling his team closer and closer to excellence, when (in reality) he's pushing his employees closer and closer to apathy (or quitting).

This same principle applies as you and I work to share our faith with those around us.  In an effort to pull our friends, neighbors and co-workers into a relationship with Jesus, we, more often than not, push them away.  We speak our language, not theirs.  We give them facts, when they want a friend.  We talk to their head, rather than their heart.

If we're hoping to convince somebody else of our point of view, it's critical that we first see theirs.  You may have noticed that most people, when pushed long enough, start running the other way.