Are You an Adjective or a Noun?

One of the most popular questions asked of grade schoolers is, "Do you know what you want to be when you grow up?".  For me, the answer was "an architect"...but it seems that no fewer than 90% of kids want to be doctors, firemen, astronauts or professional athletes.  And there's always at least one in every class who wants to be a ballerina.  I guess it's part of the innocence of childhood.

But at a certain point in life there's a much more important question that needs to be asked:  "Do you know who you want to be?"  Though the difference is subtle, it's a question about character instead of career.  And it's answer demands an adjective instead of a noun.

Most of us work our entire lives trying to be nouns: mechanics, mail carriers or moms.  Rock stars, rodeo clowns or radio personalities.  But, in reality, nouns don't mean much.  They tell you the 'what', but not the 'how'.  I mean, wouldn't you rather have an honest mechanic than a dis-honest one?  Wouldn't you rather have a loving mom than an abusive one?

To me, it's the adjectives that matter.  Kind, compassionate, Christlike.  Trustworthy, thoughtful, thankful.  Honest, open, others-minded.

As you head off to college or into the working world, don't spend too much time focusing on your noun.  Don't work (or study) 40 hours a week trying to become something, instead of someone.  Don't trick yourself into thinking that how the world sees you is more important than how you see the world.

Want to truly make a difference in this life?  Whether you become a teacher or a truck driver...a plumber or a politician...a nurse or a nanny...start by working on your adjective.

Advice for Graduates (and everyone else)

Dear Graduate,

You have spent the last thirteen years of your life in school and are (finally) ready to begin a new chapter. And whether yours involves college, vocational training, work, or travel...there are seven things that you need to know first. Things you weren't taught in math or science or English class.

1.  When it comes to education: Spend much time learning, but spend more time serving. It is better to do more while knowing less than do less while knowing more. (Proverbs 11:24 - "One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty.") 

2.  When it comes to happiness: Realize that, if the grass is greener on the other side, someone probably worked really hard to make it that way.  It is better to tend your own lawn than abandon it for someone else’s. (Proverbs 14:30 - "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.")

3.  When it comes to friends:  Choose peers who like you for you instead of liking you for themselves.  It is better to be accepted by one for who you are than accepted by many for what you have. (Proverbs 19:6 - "Many curry favor with a ruler, and everyone is the friend of a man who gives gifts.")

4.  When it comes to work: Find a job that grows your heart and shrinks your ego rather than grows your ego and shrinks your heart.  It is better to be poor and powerless doing something you love than rich and powerful doing something you regret. (Proverbs 29:23 - "A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.")

5.  When it comes to love: Don’t get married when someone says they can’t live without you.  Get married when your heart says you can’t live without them. It is better to be single wishing you were married than married wishing you were single. (Proverbs 31:10 - "A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.")

6.  When it comes to family: Don't let someone's actions impact your love. Rather, use your love to impact their actions.  It is better to know a love that doesn't end rather than constantly wonder when it will.  (Proverbs 22:6 - "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.")

7.  When it comes to faith: Align your lifestyle with your beliefs, not your beliefs with your lifestyle.  It is better to hold on to your convictions when life gets hard than let go of them to make life easier.  (Proverbs 28:14 - "Blessed is the man who always fears the Lord, but he who hardens his heart falls into trouble.")